Our Home - The Very Beginning

Let me start off by saying that 2016 has already been an extremely exciting year for Bradley and I! To be quite honest, exciting is just an understatement. As many of you already know, we are in the process of planning our wedding for this upcoming September at Bear Lake Reserve in Cullowhee, NC. Although we are very excited about our wedding and starting our lives together, we have also had to start making many stressful and emotional decisions about our future. Believe me, our relationship and life isn't always rainbows and butterflies. Long story short, one decision we had to face head on is where are we going to live once we are married? And this is were my story actually begins...

"Do we try to rent a house?" or "Do we want to buy a house" or "Do we try to finish my parent's basement and just live there for awhile?" Every single one of those questions were constantly running through our heads, and to be honest we only wanted to do what is best for us. Not only our relationship, but our finances and well-being. I, personally, have not been on my own before, so trying to think about these big life decisions was very overwhelming and super emotional. I'm sure Bradley can tell you that it's the most stressed he has ever seen me, yet. We went to our parents, friends, and even co-workers for advice but it wasn't until a couple of weeks later that we stopped to think... Out of all the people who have given us excellent advice, even though we became even more confused, we were not going to the one person who is in control of it all. God.

Please excuse this side note, but I really believe it is relevant to the purpose of this blog. Bradley and I have always tried to have a strong and personal relationship with God and put Him first in our relationship. This past year was probably the strongest that either one of us have been in our faith, and relying solely on God and His plans for us. I am embarrassed and hate to say this, but when my grandfather passed away this past year due to cancer it changed everything. Not so much for Bradley, but for myself. Honestly, I became angry with God. I didn't understand why He would take such an important person away from me and why He did what He did. "Why?" That was a question I asked myself almost every single day about the situation. It was then that my faith became weak, relationships suffered, and all my thoughts/emotions because just a cluster. Not only about his loss, but everything in general. My life stayed that way too for a couple of months before I had peace about the situation. Just remember this as I continue throughout the blog...

After much praying and solely relying on God, a couple of months went by before we were presented with probably one of the biggest blessings of our life together. We had the option of purchasing exactly 1 acre of land from my grandmother, the land being right beside the house I grew up in, and we took it! Without even thinking twice about it, it was the best decision for not only us but our future. Bradley and I have always dreamed about having our own piece of land and building our picture perfect home on it, but we definitely didn't think it would happen. Especially as soon as it did, and before we were even married! We are officially land owners in Haywood County! It was then that God made it clear to us His plan and where/what we were supposed to do about our living situation. We are blessed! Beyond belief.

Okay, so we have a piece of land and we are excited beyond control. But what do we want to put on it? A site built home or an off frame modular home? What color of paint do I want to paint my walls? Who is going to clear the property for us? What do I want my master bedroom to look like? I will be the first to admit that I took the news and ran with it. Bradley probably wanted to kill me because I was being the annoying fiancé who didn't have any patience and wanted everything all at once. You can ask him, and I promise he will admit it. When we first got the news about us closing on the property, I wanted my home finished. And I mean finished by the time we got married, so we could move in right after/before our wedding and live happily ever after... Reality check, Savannah! Get a hold of yourself. It was after a couple of speed bumps before I realized that this wasn't going to be a situation I could control, and definitely put a time frame on. It just wasn't going to happen that way. If you know me, then you probably already know that I like being in control of almost every situation. That's just how I am, and this is not one of those things I can be in control of. No matter what.

While I was going through my huge reality check, I got the chance to talk with someone who had been in a similar situation to Bradley and I's. I swear, having the chance to talk to her changed everything! I mean, every single detail and every thought that went through my head. She was just telling me about how her and her husband just built a house, and how they didn't listen to God throughout the process. I was honestly not surprised to hear that because I can already see how easy it is to get caught up in the excitement, and just blow off His plans. They had to make sacrifices along the way, and do things they really didn't want to do. In return, they now have a beautiful house but only one regret. That one regret is that they wished they would have listened to God along the way and went by His pace and timing.

It was so strange, but after my talk with her I had a whole new feeling come over me and outlook on the situation. I even told Bradley that we could wait a year from now and live with my mom before we even broke ground! Like whoa, where did this Savannah come from? Bradley ask, so don't worry. The only answer I had to give him was that I wanted to do things right. I believe that if God opened up the opportunity for land, then he will be with us throughout every other step of the process. He has blessed us tremendously already, so I know he will continue to do so if we trust in Him. We both agreed that this is going to be a new and huge adventure for us, but that we wanted to do just as He wants and also how my granddaddy would. I looked up to my granddaddy more than anyone, and just thought he hung the moon. I'm sure people think I can't write a blog without mentioning his name, but he had such an impact on my life that I almost can't write something without involving him. He was my main man, before Bradley of course. We both feel tons better since we have stopped being selfish and putting our wants before our needs, and started trusting someone bigger than us who is in full control. We aren't in control of everything, and that's okay for us.

I know this is a really long blog, but when we announced the purchase of the property I wanted to be sure everyone understood our outlook on the situation. Bradley and I are thankful every single day for this opportunity, and are making it a point to not get ahead of ourselves. Yes, we are going to have to make sacrifices. Yes, this is going to be an extreeeeemely long process. Yes, we are okay with not being in full control. Bradley and I are very excited about sharing the news with all of our family and friends, and we hope you are as excited as we are. We both wouldn't be where we are today if it wasn't for our family and friends, and we thank you in advance for your continued support. Please keep us in your prayers too, because this isn't going to be an easy process. The status on our new home right now is that we are just enjoying the property. We are making plans for the future, getting all our ducks in a row, and being sure we take things slow. I will go ahead and warn my fellow blog followers that I will be blogging throughout our entire home process because this is the way I can vent and share my feelings/thoughts/emotions.

The pictures below are what the property looks like right now, and as you can see we have a lot of work to do before we can start anything. We are super excited for this big step in our life and relationship. We give all the glory to God for this huge blessing and opportunity, and we are excited to share it with you along the way!

View of the property from my Grandparent's house 

Full panorama view of the property 

View of the property from the road

Bradley and Lilo working on the property 

XOXO - Savannah 

An Empty Chair at Christmas

An Empty Chair at Christmas

By Savannah Morris 

There will be empty chair at Christmas,

it was your favorite time of the year.

Seeing all of your 8 grandchildren,

and spreading the holiday cheer.

Your presence will be missed dearly,

but you're in the best place you could be.

Your spending Christmas with your Savior,

rather than around the Mathews' Christmas tree.

You're with your family in spirit,

and always close at heart.

The grieving will never be easy,

 this holiday season is just a start.

It will not be the same without you,

but the memories don't fall astray.

There will be an empty chair at Christmas,

but hold us near I pray.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted,

and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

- Psalm 34:18 

May Fifteenth Two Thousand & Fifteen.

So, as many of you already know on May 15^th, 2015 I lost my dear granddaddy. If you have kept up with us throughout the years, you know that the relationship and bond we had between each other was the best I could ever ask for. I considered, and still do, my granddaddy my other half. People even said that we talked and acted like each other a lot of the time. A best friend, sweetheart, granddaddy, and caring provider, just to name a few, are all the roles he took upon himself throughout my life. To say I’m blessed would be an understatement.

Granddaddy had been fighting sicknesses and diseases for about ten years prior to his death. Two strokes, colon cancer, skin cancer, heart problems, radiation treatments, etc. You name it! You would think that would really put a bind in his lifestyle, right? Nope, my granddaddy fought until the very end.  Even then he didn’t want to give up. He lived his life to the fullest, despite his illness, just as he was a young boy again. He worked outside, took his daily trips to town, and most importantly spent time with the people he loved, his family.

Friday morning, May 15^th, started out as a normal morning for me. Everything was going great until my mom got a phone call from my grandmother. My grandmother said that granddaddy was in the floor, messing around in his room, and she couldn’t get him up. He was also in a confused state of mind. As fast as we could, mom and I went down to their house to find my granddaddy lying in the floor of his bedroom unconscious. While my mom tried to help him regain consciousness, I immediately called 911. I was so upset and worried that I could barely type those three numbers they teach you from elementary school on.

Before we knew it the ambulance was at my grandparent’s house and suggested they immediately rush him to the hospital due to his low heart rate. Taking him to Mission in Asheville wasn’t even an option for us now. Without any question, I jumped in the ambulance with them. I couldn’t imagine leaving him at this point, not ever. I sat in front of the ambulance while both paramedics worked on him frantically in the back; I could tell it wasn’t going to be a good outcome. All I could do at this point was pray. Pray that everything was going to be okay and that God gave me the strength to make the right decisions for him. Once we arrived at the hospital, they had a team of about ten nurses waiting for him in the ER. They shut me out of the room so they could work on him, leaving me crying and hysterical out in the middle of the hall. My mom and grandmothers were following behind the ambulance, so they were there shortly after. Ten or fifteen minutes passed, like I had time to count, before the doctor came out and told us that they couldn’t regain his heart back. After countless minutes of CPR and using the rehabilitator, he wasn’t going to make it.

“He’s not going to make it.” I seriously never imagined myself having to hear those six words prior to his death. I always just made it out to be something they said in the show ER, Grey’s Anatomy, stuff like that. Not that it was going to happen to me! It was then that my grandmother, mother, and I had to make one of the hardest decisions of our life. However, at that moment God provided us with the most abundant amount of strength in order to make the right decision. Not only for his health, but also his quality of life. My granddaddy was better off with God.

Mourning, confusion, shock, and selfishness are all just examples of the feelings and emotions my family is and was experiencing during this difficult time. I’ve noticed that some are trying to piece everything together, how exactly it happened, how it could have been different, if he was truly ready to go or not, etc. However, no matter how much we try to justify what happened it isn’t going to make the loss easier. Rather than being selfish, and only thinking of ourselves, we should be thinking about granddaddy, and how better off he is. Imagine how happy it is! Remember, it’s not goodbye but rather see you later.

God has a plan for everyone, everything, and every part of His creation. It was God’s plan to take my granddaddy from this earth on Friday morning, and that’s what he did. No matter how, where, or when it happened, it was time for Cohen Mathews to go home and be with his Savior. It is important that we take into account God’s plan when it comes to death, and although he is apart from this earth he still lives. Jesus says in John 11:25-26 that “He who believes in me will live, even though he dies and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.” Although his body is no longer with us on earth, his soul will live forever.

I, personally, am probably the family member that took my granddaddy’s death the hardest. I cry every day, can’t sleep at night, and am constantly thinking about him and how much he’s missed. However, the night after his death I started praying for peace. Peace that he’s in heaven, dancing around with angels, worshipping nonstop, and feeling the best he’s ever felt. He’s in no more pain. Throughout the past couple of days a new feeling has overcame me. I know without a doubt that my granddaddy lived the life he loved, all day every day. I know that he’s a Son of God and that he’s under His care now. I know that no matter what this earth provides, he’s better off in heaven. Although I still have a void, that cannot be replaced or filled, I have a sense of comfort and peace. The Bible says in Psalm 29:11 that “The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blessed his people with strength.” I give all my thanks to the Lord for providing me with the strength to deal with his death, and also receive peace about it.

When it comes to remembering my granddaddy, don’t remember him as a sick man; but rather remember him as if he was in his golden days. A husband, father, granddaddy, coach, and friend all make up Cohen Mathews and the great man he was. My granddaddy left this world a loved, respected, and well-known man and will forever be known as that. I know my granddaddy, probably better than anyone else, and I know that he would want everyone to cherish the memories with him and remember the wonderful life he lived.

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?”

{John 14:1-2}

xoxo - Savannah 

Live The Moment.

So, the title of this blog is pretty self explanatory and I'm sure you can go ahead and guess what it's going to be about.... living in the moment. Do you live in the moment 99.9% of the time? Or do you tend to get lost in the chaotic world of who's dating who, social media, gossip, TV shows, life in general, need I continue? Lately this topic has been heavy on my mind due to me being one of the very many "suckers" of falling into our crazy and hectic daily lives without stopping and REALLY taking in what is happening around you and what all you are blessed with.

I will start off by saying that my life is literally the definition of "hectic" and even sometimes "stressful." I just received an internship, which I'm incredibly blessed to have, go to class at Western two days a week, work at a vet's office in Arden, and not to mention make time for my friends, family, boyfriend, school work, etc. Run on sentence, I know. I'm not trying to make excuses for myself, but don't you get how I can sometimes get caught up in what all I'm dealing with and not stop to ever smell the roses or even make time for myself? Well it was just a few days ago I had several small occurrences that made me realize how truly blessed I am and how it's so easy to take those things for granted. Funny this is, those blessings have been in my life for awhile now and it took me this long to take a step back and soak it all in? I mean, I obviously think about it regularly as well but like realllllly soak it all in and think about it.  Give thanks to God for it. I mean, He was the one who put that blessing in my life, right?

For example, one of the most important blessings in my life is my boyfriend, Bradley. (Don't worry, this isn't some mushy blog about our relationship and love because that's a whole different story!) Anyways, Bradley and I have been together for almost a year now and both of our lives are changing very rapidly due to my future career, him getting a new job, etc. Like I'm talking changing daily! It's safe to say that both of our lives have been very hectic, stressful, and even aggravating sometimes. But the point I'm really trying to get to here is, do I take a minute to stop every day (even a second) and think just how blessed I am to have him be a part of my life? Do I thank God every single day for bringing such a Godly man to me? Do I tell him that all the times I need to or should? Sad thing is, it's the little things in life that you may not think are important, that get put on the back-burner. In reality they should really be a main priority. It was just last night I was sitting in the living room of my house watching "The Bachelor" and I couldn't help but stare at the one I love in the kitchen while he was studying for his state insurance test. I was thinking to myself, "Wow. What did I do to deserve a man like that? And does he know 150% how I feel about him? Do I tell him that I love him enough? Is there a right number for that?" It's obvious that I love him more than the moon and stars itself, but I mean how I truly feel to the "T." When I was talking to Bradley about this blog and what I was going to write about, he said himself that even though we say "I love you" every day doesn't come close to really expressing our feelings and how lucky we are. Long story short, we don't say it enough.

That was just one minor, but major, example of a blessing that has been "covered" up or "pushed to the side" by our crazy daily lives as people. Why do you think that is, you may ask? Well the answer I will continue to go by, coming from a "Godly" woman and based off of my faith, is that the devil is trying to interfere in your life. Why should the devil be happy about a blessing that God has granted upon you? I'm sure the first thing in his mind is how he can intervene or make change! In my opinion, as a christian and "godly" woman it is my responsibility to be thankful for my many blessings, not only to whom it may relate to, but also give continuous praise to the man who gave them to me to begin with. 

 I'm not saying that the blessings in my life have gone away, because by no means they haven't! I could make a list of 100 blessings that I have in my life right now. Do I think about them every day like I should and give thanks for them? Ha. I wish! And honestly, I really should. I have found that instead of us being thankful for what we have, people are constantly wondering about what is going on around us socially or what we can do next to have "more." Our lives are constantly changing, every second and minute, but our blessings are not. 

I would be lying to every single one of you reading this blog, if I said that I was going to be thankful for every single one of my blessings and think about them every day 24/7 and 365 days a year. We all know that is not going to happen! But I am saying that living in the moment of your life is key. Embrace what is going on around you, call someone you love just to tell them how grateful you are to have them, the list can go on and on... Like I said before, I'm sure we are all guilty of not staying accountable for our blessings. But I will end by saying this, God has given us one life to live and it's up to us to love one another unconditionally, be thankful for all we have, stay accountable for our blessings, and make the best of what we have each and every day.

>>> "Taste and see that the Lord is good;
blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him." - Psalms 34:8 <<<

XOXO - Savannah

Build on Faith.

Over the past couple of weeks it’s safe to say that God has really been laying something very strong and powerful on my heart. As the days and weeks have gone by everything just gets clearer and clearer and I know without a doubt that it is His will and plan for me in the future. He simply wants me to build my faith.  Become closer to God. Make my relationship stronger. Become more comfortable with my faith and with His word. As I have pondered on what He is trying to do in my life and how I can be the person he wants me to be, I came up with some personal goals for myself along with why exactly I want to be a more “Godly” woman. Not only for my family, peers, and friends but also for myself. 

As God was, and still is, working in my life, I had a big eye opener one day thanks to a friend of mine. After it happened I went ahead and asked her if it was okay for me to talk about it in my blog because it had such a dramatic impact on what was already being done between God and I. It was a couple of weeks ago that I received a Facebook message from Savannah Swanner simply saying that God had been laying it on her heart to ask myself and another friend of mine to become involved with the Young Adults group at Longs Chapel. Okay, some of you guys are probably thinking what is the big deal about that? So what? Well to me, it was a VERY big deal. Just thinking about all of the people God could have laid on her heart to become involved He chose me. Me! Recently I have not been very open about my faith and relationship with God to outsiders, so for her to think of me as a Christian woman and to get me involved made me feel so blessed. “I must be doing something right,” I thought. “Do other people think of me as a leader of Christ?” It is amazing to me how God can do works and great things for you through other people and give you opportunities you have been longing for. Along with Savannah’s message giving me the right “push”, there are 3 young women in my church who did the same and probably didn’t even know it. I call these ladies my role models for Christ. Every time the church doors are open they’re there, worshiping God like that’s all that matters, singing in the praise band, volunteering for every little thing, and in my eyes just being amazing women of God.  No matter the situation. I couldn’t tell you how many times I have thought, “I want to be just like them.” And recently it’s probably been a million. Once God laid it on my heart to build my faith and relationship with Him, I went straight to those 3 ladies and guess what? All of them were there with eyes, ears, and heart open to give me the best guidance they can and will along with many sincere prayers. After I received the message from Savannah it became clear to me that God works in ways that we may not always expect or quite understand, as He did her. Therefore, I chose to not walk this path alone and instead allow some help from “Godly” women along the way.

So, as I mentioned before I have came up with 5 main goals that I believe can help me build my faith with God. I believe that creating personal goals and milestones for myself and my faith will be much more rewarding and bring me closer to Him along the way…

Goal #1: Find a church “home.”

My first goal is actually already accomplished. I have recently been attending Faith Community Church with my boyfriend, Bradley, and have come to call it my church “home.” I am truly blessed to attend such an amazing church that welcomes you with open arms, praises and worships Him whole heartedly, and always leaves you wanting more. I never knew church could be considered “fun.” Now please don’t take that the wrong way, but at FCC it’s safe to say that everyone is NOT afraid to worship. And I mean worship! Whether it’s raising your hands, praying on your knees, singing at the top of your voice, or dancing in the isles… It’s all for Him and nothing else matters.

Goal #2: Get involved.

This is my next step in my plan since I have already became somewhat established in a great church. I want to become involved in community groups, children’s church, praise band, bible studies, you name it! I feel that getting involved within my church and developing relationships amongst those people will create a perfect opportunity to build my faith, and what better way than that? That’s what He would want me to do.

Goal #3: Create “Godly” relationships.

This goal ideally goes along with my second goal, and that is getting involved in church. Getting involved in church allows you to be around people who all have the same want and desire as you, and that’s becoming closer to God. It helps you to build relationships with others who may be going through the same things as you are, creates support groups, and most importantly brings you together with others to worship and learn about Him.  In my opinion, “Godly” relationships can make such an impact on your walk with Christ. As I mentioned before, it was 3 ladies who just partake in their normal routine at church that inspired me and made me want to be more. Having “Godly” relationships are very powerful in my eyes and I’m sure that God will bless them in every way possible.

Goal #4: Explore the bible.

So this step can seem very simple, but to me it’s rather not. Everyone knows all the popular bible verses, bible stories, main people, etc.… But I want to know more. My goal here is to explore the bible in depth and read about stories that can be related to our every day life because I guarantee you there are more than one!  If you have a situation or problem going on in your life where you do not know what to do, I want to be able to turn to the bible. Read what Jesus did. Learn what’s right and what’s wrong, how to handle things, how to treat people just like He did. Become familiar with the word and make it my number one resource!

Goal #5: Be comfortable spreading the “word.”

To me, this is goal is SUPER important. I have recently come across times where God’s word is needed and longed for, however I do not know exactly what to say or how to say it. Yes, those times should be exciting because you’re getting to talk about Him and spread the word but they can also be discouraging if you do not feel 120% comfortable with it. Now I’m not going to throw the word on everybody, and become all pushy about God and everything, but if I believe I need to introduce someone to a relationship with God then I want to feel okay doing so.  I cannot imagine how rewarding it would feel to bring someone to God and to the word, and to give him or her the longing for His love that I have.  I’m sure there is no better feeling.

So why do I want to become a more “Godly” woman? What does it mean to me? Like I said before, I do not want to build my relationship with God for other people, but instead myself. All of the goals I created are part of my plan to become closer to the “Great I Am” and most importantly my Lord and Savior. It’s safe to say that I wouldn’t be near the person I am today without God’s saving grace and unconditional love. There is no other relationship more important to me than the one I have with Him, and in my eyes it needs to GROW. Get bigger. Consume my life. It can never be “too” good so why not take charge and build on it? God has blessed me in a million ways I never thought were possible, and I want to give him the glory and live my life day by day for Him. “Jesus paid it all, and all to him I owe.”

Unfortunately my walk with God isn’t going to make a 360 change overnight, it’s going to take time. It’s going to take me raising my hand during worship at church and feeling uncomfortable once or twice, stuttering the words out as I’m trying to tell someone about God, feeling like I’m all alone but in reality He is there, and engaging myself with others like me. For those of you reading this, all I can ask for is your prayers. There are not many things in life that you can be totally sure about, however this is definitely one of them. Working on my life due to God laying it on my heart couldn’t feel more rewarding and I can know without a doubt that it’s his plan and will for me. I couldn’t ignore the obvious signs! It’s time to build on faith.

>>> Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths." -Proverbs 3:5-6 <<<

XOXO - Savannah